Snake Tracker

I interrupt my trail rides to give you some deeper insight into the true person I am.  I have, along with many other undiagnosed issues, a phobia.  Snakes.

Yep, I'm the girl who does the chicken dance, running around, hopping up and down while flapping my arms and screaming like a little girl when I see a snake.  I pick my feet up in the truck when I drive over one and then look in the rear view mirror to make sure it is still in the road and has not managed to jump up and grab ahold of the bottom of my truck as I drove over it so it can later attack me when I stop and get out.  You could put me in the ring at Ada, Okla. during the bullfighting championships and I would last longer there, than in a 1000 foot pen with a 6 inch grass snake.  I'll share with you just a few of my many encounters with the little bastards.  There have been many - they seek me out because they know I can't stand them (kind of like stupid men, lol).

High School
I was mowing the lawn, minding my own business, screaming a song coming from my walk-man (I'm sure it was probably 90's Garth Brooks).  Before I could stop the mower, I was right on top of a ginormous black snake.  He had to be at least 2 foot long!  As I bail off the mower, still in gear, I end up about 15 feet from the snake.  To my horror, there is very little damage done to it and it's still moving about.  I run for my life to may dad at the barn.  Between gaps I tell dad what has just happened in a language he cannot begin to understand.  Shaking his head, he walks beside me back to the crime scene.  Looks at the snake and at this point chuckling to himself, puts an end to the snakes misery.  I continued mowing and my heart rate returned to normal with a spike every now and again at the sight of every twig I approached.

Summer Shipping
I don't remember this story because I think I blacked out in self-defense.  But, my dad has NO problem telling it... We were shipping cattle for Shane Hier who lives a bit from our house.  So, we always book at least 2 or 3 days in a row and just stay over to save on driving and fuel.  One afternoon when the work had ended, Shane, Dad and myself hop in the truck to head to town.  On our way we come across a huge rattle snake sunning in the road.  Shane thinks it would be a good idea to stop and 'check him out.'  I catch on to his plan and before he has a chance to open the door, I commence to beating the crap out of his left arm, screaming profanities and threatening his precious life if he even tries to get that snake.  Dad always ends the story by saying Shane has been scared of me ever since!

College
During a semester at OSU I lived in a little house about 20 miles north of town.  On approach through the mud room to the back door, I notice what looks like a tail sticking out from a hole.  I get really close and then it hits me... the light bulb has lit in my head and I am about 6 inches from the ass-end of a black snake.  I freeze, heart stopped, breath held and as quietly as I can, back away and jump back into my truck and lock the door.  Obviously this snake has deliberately blocked me from my house so I am sure he could open my truck door as well!  I call my friend Angie, she drives 20 miles out to my house, to show me the snake has already left, gets back in her truck and drives the 20 miles back to Stillwater, still laughing her ass off - and reminds me of this story every time I see her :)  THAT is a friend!

Cat's Snake
One nice day, I propped the door open to my house to let the fresh breeze in.  As I walk into the living room, I greet my cat.  She has her back to me and when she hears my voice turns to greet me back.  In her mouth is a grass snake.  I yell, scream, jump and cuss.  From on top of the back of the couch I am yelling at my cat to take the damn thing outside.  She is not understand me.  She begins playing with the snake, which is still alive.  When the snake stops moving, what does my cat do???  She drops it on the floor, bored it is not 'playing' with her anymore and walks back outside-me yelling behind her to "come back in this house right now and get this thing!"

Bull Snake
Driving along, dad in the passenger seat and my three kids in tow.  We drive up on a really big bull snake.  Dad convinces me to stop the car so he can get a better look.  The snake goes to the ditch and what does dad do?... he goes after it, grabs it by the tail and drags it out of the grass for my kids to get a better look.  As this is unfolding, I am wrestling with my 3 year old as she is reaching for the window to roll it down and get a closer look as I am trying to keep her from doing so while simultaneously trying to crawl over the console to the other side of the vehicle and SHE is winning!

Dad and the 4 1/2 foot bull snake... he let GO!



Snake Tracker
Outside helping clean up the yard, my kids come screaming around the corner from the back yard.  "Mommy there's a snake!"  I put my brave mom pants on and follow them to the scene, praying it is anything but a snake.  NOPE, it's no less than a baby rattle snake.  I send the kids to go get grandpa.  While they tear out across the yard to the barn, I follow the snake around until dad can make it to the rescue.  It tries to go under the house, up a tree, in the ground so I grab about an 18 foot long branch and battle it out with the fierce monster.  I think my dad brags on me more about that now than anything - the day my mama cow came out to protect his grandbabies.  That day - the day I became the great snake tracker - I like to think I redeemed 1/2 an ounce of the dignity I lost in all the stories above :)